Chronicles of the Wallak

Brainwash me softly.

So much shit, burns my hope and dreams in a steamy brown river.

The most fun you'll ever have... being scared!

Creepshow



Directed by good ol’ George A. Romero and Screenplay by Stephen king (The shinning), and 80-90’s favorite makeup effects master Tom Savini .That sure had my attention.
The movie, based of a comic series, is a compilation of five short and creepy stories; each one is about 20 minutes long, and it captures the comic book style very well.

1. “Fathers day” is about an old lady, coming to visit her dead father’s grave on “father’s day” ironic enough that that lady killed him long time ago, why you ask? Because like most old farts he was an annoying douche bag.
There’s one scene that caught me unaware and made me jump in the air, and the ending is just amusing.

Caaaaaaake!

2. “The lonesome death of jordy verril” – Combines comedy and fear – which in this case is the fear of being overrun by plants, Stephen King himself performs as jordy verril – a dumbass farmer that finds a meteorite in his field, soon he’ll find out that you shouldn’t touch foreign objects from outer space…
It’s the shortest story, Stephan King is funny as hell, the thought of a serious writer that wrote the shining and many novels that acts like a dumbass is just hilarious, probably the most funny story of all 5 least scary, there are also scenes when he imagines how he’ll get rich from his discovery, that include a crazy old doctor, you just have to see, it will bust your ASS out of laughter.













from this...

To this...

3.“Something to tide you over” – This is a realy bizarre part of the movie , Leslie Nielsen which is well known from the “Naked gun” trilogy is playing a psychopath that trying to kill his cheating wife and her lover, and does it by burring them in the beach and make them choke to death from the waves of the tide.
If you ever wondered how Leslie Nielsen would act different than a dweeb cop, there’s your answer, he does a great job yet when I see that face I could keep myself from smiling, I've never thought Nielsen could be scary.
There’s a minor – stupid twist at the end, yet this is creepshow what did you expect?

4. “The Crate” – This is the point when I’ve started to fall asleep, A janitor finds a mysterious crate from the 19th century, and he tries to open it, of course it contains a crazy ass monster (that looks like a mutant gorilla), anyone that gets close enough get slaughtered, I don’t have much to say,, it’s boring and importunely it’s the longest story of all, however in the middle of it there are so random parts which are pretty funny, like when one of the main characters imagine he blasts the fuck out of his wife’s brain in their party, and all the guests clap applause him, ooookay.

5. “They’re creeping on you” – Wow, this is one sick part. Some old asshole that has a serious hygiene issue is having a minor bug problem, which becomes pretty serious.
I don’t have much to detail since this is another short story, yet this is definitely the most disgusting of all, probably one of the sickest scenes in a movie ever made. Bug haters - be very afraid.

So this is “Creepshow”, it’s not a masterpiece yet this movie is lot’s of fun for the horror fans, it has some great performances, very funny scenes of dark humor and overall you don’t see much of a movies such as this one, so if you want a fun, refreshing, and creeeeepy horror flick, this is the movie for you.

Preety preety was the horsie as he drank the magic taquila

Oh interwebs.
You're my secret love,
You're my sanctuary,
Filling me with joy like a dumb kid.

VIVA PINATA

This is going to be a main activity for the next month.































Once again thanks, the internet, my true and everlasting love













































































































horror kids.

We got this by the ASS!

Ahhh yes.

Dawn of the dead, now that's some piece of the 70's.
This movie is completely different than his prequel “Night of the living dead”, it’s not meant to be taken out seriously, and it’s not meant to scare you, however… wait until the end for the most gruesome scenes you’ll see in a 70’s movie.

This 2 hours and 20 minutes tale continues the story from NOTD, the world is at panic, the zombies roaming everywhere, and from now on it’s every man for himself, 4 survivors manages to take sanctuary in a zombie infested mall, trying to survive the many dangers that’s in a zombie holocaust.

I got to say that a mall as a sanctuary is a cool idea, most of the second hour is the survivors hanging out in the mall enjoying all the goodies that are in the stores, blasting random zombies it’s sounds boring on the paper, but it’s much more fun when you watch it.

My main issue in this movie is our main characters, the zombies.
I think this movie shows how zombies should be – slow and dumb as dog shit.
yet in this movie they’re taken down way to easily, there’s almost no challenge to beat them, and all you want is to see them killing people.
However, like I said, wait until the end to get your pay off.

This is when you realize you're fucked up!

Nowadays zombies are faster, smarter and louder, I do think it’s a cool idea, yet it’s a pretty lame to give zombies the advantage of speed when this is the disadvantage that is characteristic to them, it’s like making vampires invulnerable to the sun, which was made couple of times… so fuck that, let’s just say it’s like making them shoot fucking laser beams out of their ass.

The highlight of this movie is towards the end, yet like NOTD the ending was kind of disappointing, but the credits makes you laugh your ass off.

Mmm-hmm That's some DAMN GOOD fried chicken!


Overall, to me this is the best zombie movie I’ve seen, because this is an example of a good zombie film, it’s dumb, gory, and funny, Thanks to romero's touch and the zombies, which are by nature clumsy and ridiculous monsters, however when they get to many and to close you’re fucked up. That’s why it’s so good. And that’s why this movie is so fucking good.


Some little stuff I’ve noticed, the music in the trucks scene was remixed in the intro of the “gorillaz - Demon days” album, also some of the audio and voices was remixed in another song - hip albatross.
Also the actor that was the professor in Romero’s film - “The crazies” (1973) makes an appearance in this movie too, as a professor… ? I thought it would be awesome if dawn of the dead would be a sequel to the crazies too.

So if you're bored as shit, and want to have fun, put this movie in your DVD, make some popcorn, light up your weed, and you’ll burn the best 2 hours of your life.

And if you read all the shit I wrote here's your bonus:

We are here and we are nothing

This movie wins the "Golden Turd" award.
It looks so cheesy that it's awesome, I Gotta have this one!




Goddamn this monster is fucking scary, when it's eating the parachuting guy I've almost soiled my pantz. OMFG.

Happy - Joy - Lov

(double click for double fun).

Life has it own mysteries,
So it's time to get waaaaaaassssteeeeeeddddd………



Youtube is god.

Worship it or else I'll kick you in the nuts.