Chronicles of the Wallak

Brainwash me softly.

So much shit, burns my hope and dreams in a steamy brown river.

The most fun you'll ever have... being scared!

Creepshow



Directed by good ol’ George A. Romero and Screenplay by Stephen king (The shinning), and 80-90’s favorite makeup effects master Tom Savini .That sure had my attention.
The movie, based of a comic series, is a compilation of five short and creepy stories; each one is about 20 minutes long, and it captures the comic book style very well.

1. “Fathers day” is about an old lady, coming to visit her dead father’s grave on “father’s day” ironic enough that that lady killed him long time ago, why you ask? Because like most old farts he was an annoying douche bag.
There’s one scene that caught me unaware and made me jump in the air, and the ending is just amusing.

Caaaaaaake!

2. “The lonesome death of jordy verril” – Combines comedy and fear – which in this case is the fear of being overrun by plants, Stephen King himself performs as jordy verril – a dumbass farmer that finds a meteorite in his field, soon he’ll find out that you shouldn’t touch foreign objects from outer space…
It’s the shortest story, Stephan King is funny as hell, the thought of a serious writer that wrote the shining and many novels that acts like a dumbass is just hilarious, probably the most funny story of all 5 least scary, there are also scenes when he imagines how he’ll get rich from his discovery, that include a crazy old doctor, you just have to see, it will bust your ASS out of laughter.













from this...

To this...

3.“Something to tide you over” – This is a realy bizarre part of the movie , Leslie Nielsen which is well known from the “Naked gun” trilogy is playing a psychopath that trying to kill his cheating wife and her lover, and does it by burring them in the beach and make them choke to death from the waves of the tide.
If you ever wondered how Leslie Nielsen would act different than a dweeb cop, there’s your answer, he does a great job yet when I see that face I could keep myself from smiling, I've never thought Nielsen could be scary.
There’s a minor – stupid twist at the end, yet this is creepshow what did you expect?

4. “The Crate” – This is the point when I’ve started to fall asleep, A janitor finds a mysterious crate from the 19th century, and he tries to open it, of course it contains a crazy ass monster (that looks like a mutant gorilla), anyone that gets close enough get slaughtered, I don’t have much to say,, it’s boring and importunely it’s the longest story of all, however in the middle of it there are so random parts which are pretty funny, like when one of the main characters imagine he blasts the fuck out of his wife’s brain in their party, and all the guests clap applause him, ooookay.

5. “They’re creeping on you” – Wow, this is one sick part. Some old asshole that has a serious hygiene issue is having a minor bug problem, which becomes pretty serious.
I don’t have much to detail since this is another short story, yet this is definitely the most disgusting of all, probably one of the sickest scenes in a movie ever made. Bug haters - be very afraid.

So this is “Creepshow”, it’s not a masterpiece yet this movie is lot’s of fun for the horror fans, it has some great performances, very funny scenes of dark humor and overall you don’t see much of a movies such as this one, so if you want a fun, refreshing, and creeeeepy horror flick, this is the movie for you.

Preety preety was the horsie as he drank the magic taquila

Oh interwebs.
You're my secret love,
You're my sanctuary,
Filling me with joy like a dumb kid.

VIVA PINATA

This is going to be a main activity for the next month.































Once again thanks, the internet, my true and everlasting love













































































































horror kids.

We got this by the ASS!

Ahhh yes.

Dawn of the dead, now that's some piece of the 70's.
This movie is completely different than his prequel “Night of the living dead”, it’s not meant to be taken out seriously, and it’s not meant to scare you, however… wait until the end for the most gruesome scenes you’ll see in a 70’s movie.

This 2 hours and 20 minutes tale continues the story from NOTD, the world is at panic, the zombies roaming everywhere, and from now on it’s every man for himself, 4 survivors manages to take sanctuary in a zombie infested mall, trying to survive the many dangers that’s in a zombie holocaust.

I got to say that a mall as a sanctuary is a cool idea, most of the second hour is the survivors hanging out in the mall enjoying all the goodies that are in the stores, blasting random zombies it’s sounds boring on the paper, but it’s much more fun when you watch it.

My main issue in this movie is our main characters, the zombies.
I think this movie shows how zombies should be – slow and dumb as dog shit.
yet in this movie they’re taken down way to easily, there’s almost no challenge to beat them, and all you want is to see them killing people.
However, like I said, wait until the end to get your pay off.

This is when you realize you're fucked up!

Nowadays zombies are faster, smarter and louder, I do think it’s a cool idea, yet it’s a pretty lame to give zombies the advantage of speed when this is the disadvantage that is characteristic to them, it’s like making vampires invulnerable to the sun, which was made couple of times… so fuck that, let’s just say it’s like making them shoot fucking laser beams out of their ass.

The highlight of this movie is towards the end, yet like NOTD the ending was kind of disappointing, but the credits makes you laugh your ass off.

Mmm-hmm That's some DAMN GOOD fried chicken!


Overall, to me this is the best zombie movie I’ve seen, because this is an example of a good zombie film, it’s dumb, gory, and funny, Thanks to romero's touch and the zombies, which are by nature clumsy and ridiculous monsters, however when they get to many and to close you’re fucked up. That’s why it’s so good. And that’s why this movie is so fucking good.


Some little stuff I’ve noticed, the music in the trucks scene was remixed in the intro of the “gorillaz - Demon days” album, also some of the audio and voices was remixed in another song - hip albatross.
Also the actor that was the professor in Romero’s film - “The crazies” (1973) makes an appearance in this movie too, as a professor… ? I thought it would be awesome if dawn of the dead would be a sequel to the crazies too.

So if you're bored as shit, and want to have fun, put this movie in your DVD, make some popcorn, light up your weed, and you’ll burn the best 2 hours of your life.

And if you read all the shit I wrote here's your bonus:

We are here and we are nothing

This movie wins the "Golden Turd" award.
It looks so cheesy that it's awesome, I Gotta have this one!




Goddamn this monster is fucking scary, when it's eating the parachuting guy I've almost soiled my pantz. OMFG.

Happy - Joy - Lov

(double click for double fun).

Life has it own mysteries,
So it's time to get waaaaaaassssteeeeeeddddd………



Youtube is god.

Worship it or else I'll kick you in the nuts.

Kidz

Faster Katorza! KILL KILL!

OhhHhheHhh Yessssss

Twisted Third Nipple

I need to cut my hair.
I hate cutting my hair,
But the evil forces make me do it.
Fuck teh system.
My friend says that after I cut my hair I look like Radish.
I think I just look like a shit, but hell that’s her opinion.

I had another dream about the devil…
Again, staying away from me as possible,
Enjoying with the other daemons,
She says I’m an angel, She knows I’m pathetiK.

I wish I could get on that bus...

So after gallons of coffee I’m still tired,
I still feel like shit.
And I still remember that fucking dream.
I need Vitamin D, and Omega 3, and to eat lot’s of cheese.
If not I’ll collapse.
Last week I was so depressed that I began to run in the streets almost every night.
I was a lot faster and I had more endurance than usual.
So how the fuck I’ll collapse? That’s just fucked up.

I think I'll start smoking, It's neither be calm and get cancer than be nervous all the time and have some fucking heart disease. promises today worth shit.

Night of the living dead was great!
It wasn’t exactly what I’ve thought It would be but still very satisfying.
Unlike “The crazies” my feeling that this movie was a lot more solid.
Less cutting in a scene, the plot was a little bit more interesting, I tried to imagine myself as a guy in 1968, you don’t know much about zombies, most of the movies are about Dracula, Frankenstein or some shit like that, and the movie doesn’t explain immediately what’s going on, who’s attacking the civilians, you have no clue what’s going on, and I really liked it, also the hero is some cool black dude, how awesome is that?

Next target: George A. Romero’s “Dawn of the dead” – 2 and a half hours of fun.

I really like stupid shit like that, I think I’m getting dumber every day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G1_DbpduKM

"Embedding disabled by request" - FAGS

Last but not least is our hit of today – this band is sweet.

Off to hang myself, Totolos.

Yo wanna get NUT'S? Let's get nut's.

Here's a little sample of how shitty the cinema is today.



George Romero’s - The Crazies (1973) is a dumb movie, it has a simple plot – Bio-weapon that strikes a small town makes everyone’s crazy, so the military involves, and faster than you can say “Shit-pie”, lose control. The effects are Poor using red paint as blood, lots of cutting in every scene, and bad actor performance.
In one word – Stupid.
But that’s the whole point, that’s the beauty in stuff that are so bad and so stupid that you actually enjoy watching, especially when you’re on crack.
Some might say it's bad because it's old, but if you're a fan of old movies you know how to make a difference between a bad movie that sucks, to a bad movie that is so good it kicks yo’ ass, making you enjoy more than movies that will be made decades from now.

Now look at this steaming piece of shit…



They are fucking zombies? Are you kidding? You're making a silly action movie from the 70’s a horror flick? Adding plot to a movie that almost has none of it? Why would you remake it into a horror movie!? it’s not scary, it’s funny like hell, and it's not meant to be taken seriously, they should have made it a comedy movie like “Zombieland” which should be FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!111111lililili.
They also put “Mad world” as a theme song at the end… That's pathetic.


I’ve seen lots of comments that like: “this movie is actually looking good, that everyone who says the originals are better than the remakes is stupid and that because of “mad world” they’ll defiantly see this movie.
It’s other people opinions, true so what I think I should be saying is –
EAT MY AAAAAASS!
You need to be crazy to say that this looks like a good movie.

A little sample of how shitty the cinema is today, how Hollywood is full with greedy dumbasses, and how time goes and people are getting more and more retarded.

After seeing this bullshit remake you can wash the horrified images with this:



Awwwww Yeaaaaaaa you got prince rolled!

TOP HITS AAAHHH YEAH

The shitty stuff in my life right now

I wake up in the morning n' feel like shit.

I'm looking in the the bathroom's mirror , and I see a long turd staring at me.

Taking the public transportaion is a great way to travel, specialy with some nice old-almost-dying grandma coughing at you, sending her germ-infested MUCUSED spit.

Simply can't work in the morning, It's hard to focus when yo' mind is made of shit.

Way too many people, way too much bullshit.

I leik facebook, you can see yo' friendz, and you can see their picturez with people they used to hate but now they liek dem n' hang out with dem, while you're being dumped like gar-bitch.

You can see them one day in da street and they'll say to ya :"Wazzap my brotha", giving their shit-eatting grin.

I also leik old fucked up horror movies.

We used to be naive, used to be amused by the simple stuff... I think it's beautiful.

...I envy you kiddo.

It's a good thing that while there will always be new shitty movies dropping at us from the skies, you can crawl back into your safe dark cave, and watch rubber masked zombie ripping off someone's face, tearing apart her glorious flesh.

...Wallak

Goddamn where's a zombie holocaust when you need one.

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What the fudge with the toilets in public restaurants?

Because when yo' going to take a piss, that's the first thing you want to see - a muscled naked man staring at you, smiling as you unzip yo' pantz.

It's the most awkward decision I've seen...

...After giving Ubama the Novel price that is.

So anyway... This world is fcuking stupid

I hate everything.

The awesome stuff in my life right now

First of all, tomorrow is the first day of a sick new week. Since I'm not working ALL week i think i should go on vacation with myself, i really miss vacations!!! If anyone's interested please. bring yourself and some cash. Sunjer, u should post some videos I'm bored for real.
By the way I'm working at a shitty toy store, I'll post some awful pictures next time. Also there are so many bad stories involving bad people.
anyway

Here's a group of low-res photos it makes me feel so good
lowres
Also flickr in general is great great a great thing here allaaa

She makes stuff i wanna eat
http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1665&Itemid=92

And i'm refreshing my arabic skills
For skills

ON FIRE!!! I did it for sandra and SHE'S GONE

The Language of Beauty

Oh yeah

In da tub

Soulseek is shit. It dies everyday and makes my cry infront of people.
Hi we're a bunch of dudes who hate life and love youtube.
Visual pleasures and nice colors that's what's keeping us together... Thank you god.
what

In the club

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES